I found myself in a very stressful place a few days ago ... yeah mostly brought on my PMS but other things too. I have this weird thing about me where I always must have too much to do. I get bored if I don't. But sometimes it catches up with me, as it has recently. Work has been crazy busy ... the last couple of months have left us pretty short handed and busier than ever. This means I work the floor helping customers but still am responsible for my back office duties. This meant long hours. On top of that, still going to school and trying to stay on track with that and not get behind on my assignments. Then I try to spend as much time with Josh as possible, and hit all the gigs since I sell the merch and I enjoy listening to the band and Josh play. Oh yeah did I forget to mention that I've also been trying to get in shape, and it seems the more I try, the worse it gets? So as Mom put it, I had a "quarter life" break down the other night ... I was overwhelmed because I want to do it all and as much as I try, I can't. But most importantly I wasn't feeling good about myself because I want to get in shape, and I think you particulary feel any extra "padding" you might have when it's continuously 105 degrees outside. Oh and my clothes are so tight it makes it hard to breathe too. So I hit a tipping point when my PMS-y emotions started to take over me. I talked to Mom for about an hour that night and came to some revelations ...
- Drinking sucks. I mean, I love it, but its so much money and I can blow a day's worth of calorie intake in one drink session - SCARY. No need for excessive drinking ... drains my wallet, my health and fitness efforts, and drains those around me LOL. I waste money on that instead of spending it on things or saving for things that I really truly want in life. If I'm going to drink I'm going to do it at home, where I don't pay $3-7 dollars a glass.
- Mom told me "a bachelors degree is good, but what good is it without someone to share it with?" Encouraging me to take a short time off of school (just a few weeks) to allow myself to get things together, and most importantly spend time with Josh. Next class will be August 25th for me.
- As much as I like my time to myself when I work out, that's not the only way to exercise. I can do it with Josh and that allows to spend time together too. Taking walks and dance lessons ... ooh baby here we come.
- I CAN have the self control to drink more water, eat right and the right portions, and drink less ... the "good feelings" I get from eating junky food or lots of food or drinking a lot don't compare to as good as I feel fitting in my clothes ...
So those are my revelations for now, thought I would share them with the world because I'm serious and I want everyone to hold me accountable and to respect my decisions and not try to sway me with greasy food or shots. I appreciate and respect your friendship. :) Thanks friends for your support and encouragement - those who have already. Love you all!!
